Why Parents Should Force Their Children to Study
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Unfortunately, kids do not always want to study. When this happens, what do you do? You don’t want to pressure them, but you know it’s got to be done.
Here’s an answer to that question and some steps you should take to gently motivate your child to study while avoiding a heated battle with them.
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Shold Parents Force Their Children to Study?
Kids should be encouraged to study and do their homework even when they don’t want to. The important thing is to go about it positively by addressing any potential hurdles that might be frustrating your child during studying and by helping them create learning and study goals they can follow.
Why Your Child Doesn’t Want to Study
If your child doesn’t like to study, there’s a reason behind it, and it’s usually not because they’re lazy or just defiant. The truth is children are sponges.
Generally, they love to learn and get good grades – even when they act like they don’t care. Good grades are affirming and help improve self-esteem.
What all this adds up to is kids love the results that learning and studying provide them. So if they do not want to study, there’s usually a deeper issue. The following are some of the most common roadblocks.
1. Lack of Understanding
Sometimes, you just can’t learn what you need from a textbook. Often, textbooks are written in such a way that the material seems dry. And sometimes, understanding one page means having to look up several terms. If you have a kid having trouble understanding the material, they will not want to study.
Find a Tutor for Your Child
Whether it’s math, science, reading, or any other subject, help your child excel in school by finding a qualified tutor.
2. Boredom
Some children are not being challenged in school. If the work is too easy or just too far below your child’s cognitive level, the child will eventually lose interest and will not want to do it.
3. Presentation of Materials
You might have heard of learning styles at some point. These are ways in which people (both children and adults) best learn and retain information. Even though there’s some debate about whether this impacts a child’s performance, I believe there’s a lot of truth behind it.
How so? Think about yourself for a moment and how you learn or retain information the best. Have you found yourself able to remember things you’ve read better than things you’ve heard? Or maybe you learn better from doing things rather than from reading.
Personally, I love to read and listen to lectures. But, I learn the best when I’m hands-on with something. One of my children learns much better when we have discussions about a topic. Another child learns better from watching videos. The third does better with reading, and the fourth is hands-on like me.
No matter how much people want to argue, there is no denying that everyone retains information in their own way. It’s not that they can’t learn in other ways, but that they tend to retain what they learn better through some mediums than through others.
So if your child is a visual learner but is only introduced to auditory material – or vice versa – of course, they’re not going to want to study. If you put something in front of them that they actually understand or enjoy interacting with, that’s a different story.
Unfortunately (due to time constraints), public school teachers can’t adapt every lesson plan to every learning style. As the parent focusing on your one, two, or three children, you can find materials to help.
4. Environment
Your child’s physical surroundings can really impact their ability to concentrate. For example, physical clutter can be a huge mental distraction. So can little brothers and sisters running around along with phones and other household noises. No one wants to try to study when they can’t even hear themselves think.
5. Lack of Self-Confidence
Having low self-esteem can prevent anyone from wanting to do anything. When kids think they can’t study well enough or hard enough to make a difference in their grades, they will not want to study.
Sadly most of the reasons listed here can impact this. If your child doesn’t understand the material or it’s not presented in a way they can easily retain the information, it can make them feel like they’re not smart.
Most kids will not realize external things are preventing them from grasping the material. Instead, they often think they’re not smart and start getting a defeated attitude towards studying.
Pro-Tip
The same is true when the environment isn’t suited for studying. Or your kid becomes bored (because the material is too easy) and doesn’t want to pay attention. It can lead your child to think something’s “wrong” with them.
It’s important you pay attention to signs of low self-confidence in your kid. At the first sign, you’ll want to talk with them about what’s going on. Prepare yourself for this talk and make sure you don’t sound accusatory.
For example, instead of saying, “Hey, man, your grades are slipping. What’s wrong with you? What’s going on?” say something like, “Hey, I know school can be tough, and I want to help. Is there something about the school work you don’t like?”
Phrasing the question in this tone lets them know you’re on their side, and it will decrease the likelihood of them becoming defensive and not opening up to you about their struggles.
It might take some time to get the information out of them, but once you do, you can start working with them to fix the issue.
How to Help Your Kids Want to Study
The key to helping your kids want to study is a combination of three things. Helping them learn in their own way, giving them a space to learn their way, and rewarding their successes. The following tips can help you in that process.
1. Use Their Learning Style
Determine your child’s learning style, and then find study resources that fit it. If you can find ways to put their learning style to work, you’ll find them learning without even realizing it. Watch movies and YouTube videos, do experiments, have talks, go on field trips, and sign up for educational gaming apps.
2. Create a Plan – Together
Work out a study plan for when they’ll study, how long they’ll study for, and when they’ll take breaks. Try not to overdo it here. Fifteen minutes of highly focused studying is much more effective than three hours of learning nothing.
If they stick to the schedule, provide little rewards. Also, be prepared to tweak the plan here and there as needed.
Lastly, be sure it’s a schedule you can follow, too. You don’t want to set a two-hour study session for right after school if there’s a chance you guys won’t even be home.
Set Up Space
Your child needs a place to study. This can be in their bedroom, in the kitchen, at the library, or anywhere. Make sure the space is clear of clutter and stocked with everything they need.
Also, if it’s a noisy place, provide them with a pair of headphones or earbuds to let them listen to music. It can help block out the noise, and there are plenty of studies showing that music can stimulate the brain.
Learn Together
Some children do better on their own. Others may benefit if they have someone else with them while they’re studying. If you’re busy and can’t commit the time, consider hiring a tutor.
Find a Tutor for Your Child
Whether it’s math, science, reading, or any other subject, help your child excel in school by finding a qualified tutor.
Set Small Goals and Rewards
Forget overall performance. Set small goals they can reach fairly easily. Goals like reading one chapter, memorizing two vocabulary words, or something similar are much easier to achieve than bringing a grade up ten points.
However, accomplishing those tiny goals might motivate them to keep doing what they need to do to eventually get their grades up that extra ten points. So set small goals and provide little rewards to encourage them to continue. If they do get their grades up by ten points, make it an even bigger reward.
Studying Doesn’t Have to Be a Chore
Studying doesn’t have to be a chore. By talking to and working with your child, you can help them succeed in studying and life. Start with the steps listed here, but be prepared to adapt as needed.
If you have any tips for encouraging your kids to study, please share them with us below!
