When Can You Leave a Baby with Grandparents?
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Here’s a common question that I’ll answer in this article about when it’s okay to leave a baby with their grandparents.
“I’m thinking about going on a trip we don’t really want to take our son with us so we’re thinking about leaving him with their grandparents. I’m trying to figure out if it’s okay for me to do that or if I should reconsider.”
-Anonymous
When Can You Leave a Baby with Their Grandparents?
You can leave your baby with their grandparents at any age as long as the grandparents are physically able to manage and take care of the child. Along with that, the grandparents need to be willing to watch them, and you need to be able to trust the grandparents.
It’s Not an Easy Answer
Like most things in life, the answer to this question is not very straightforward, and here’s why.
When it comes to grandparents watching their grandkids, I think many variables need to be considered. Here are just some of the questions you should be asking yourself.
Related: Daycare vs Grandparents
1. How’s Your Relationship with Your Grandparents?
I think this goes without saying, but you probably shouldn’t leave your kids alone with people with whom you don’t have a good relationship.
2. How’s The Grandparents Mental and Physical Health?
Do you have an unruly child? Is your child emotionally and physically difficult to handle? Does your child have any special needs?
These are just some of the questions you’ll need to ask yourself before leaving your child with their grandparents for an extended period.
You don’t want to leave your child with someone who can’t manage them for one reason or another.
3. Do the Grandparents Want to Watch the Child?
I know many times grandparents become the backup parents but not every grandparent wants to do that.
Some grandparents have already raised kids and are not looking to raise anymore. Make sure the grandparents are okay with watching the kids before you drop them off.
4. How Long Are They Going to Be Watching the Kids?
Are you leaving them for a couple of hours? Is it for a day? Or are the kids staying overnight?
The time frame will make a difference. Some grandparents may be okay with the grandkids staying with them for a couple of hours.
Maybe even for the day, but won’t be okay if the children were left with them overnight.
5. How Old Are Your Kids?
In general, older kids should be easier to manage than really young kids. For instance, a 10-year-old will not require anywhere near the energy as a four-year-old (generally speaking).
Use Good Judgement
To summarize my point, yes, you can leave your child with their grandparents at a pretty early age as long as the grandparents are willing.
Ultimately you as the parent will have to assess all the other situations to make sure it’s appropriate and works for your family.
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Frequently Asked Questions
Here are some frequently asked questions related to when can you leave a baby with their grandparents.
I would really like feedback on the following issue. I am the grandma in one set of grandparents and I live right next to the parents of this grand child. I look after her from 8 to 4 every day it is the summer now and the other grandparents on Long Island have now got her for 3 1/2 weeks. Is it appropriate that I don’t contact the other grandparents with whom I am in good standing and at least send my love to my little grandchild all at say hi I’m glad you’re having a nice time my sweetheart and the parents should they at least check in it’s been a whole week and they haven’t done so and because it is the other grandmothers time and I think that in the future when there’s a little kid, who’s very very bright thinks ahead, she would feel abandoned by nobody connecting .. we in the adult will get all the pictures of her every day but what contact is she having which reminds her that she has other people who love her what would your advice be?
I’m going to summarize your points because I want to make sure that I understand what you’re saying. Also I think it would be helpful for others who are reading this who may want to chime in.
In summary:
You’re a grandmother who lives next door to your grandchild’s parents.
You usually take care of your grandchild every day from 8 am to 4 pm.
Currently, it’s summer and your grandchild is spending 3 1/2 weeks with the other set of grandparents on Long Island.
You’re considering whether you should contact the other grandparents, with whom you have a good relationship, to send your love to your grandchild and check in on her.
It’s been a week since the child has been with the other grandparents, and her parents haven’t checked in yet. You are wondering whether they should be doing so.
You believe that the child, who you describe as bright and forward-thinking, might feel abandoned if no one from her usual environment (parents, yourself) keeps in touch.
While the adults receive pictures of the child daily, you’re concerned about the direct contact she is having which reminds her that there are other people who love her.
You are asking for advice on these matters.
Here’s my response to your question:
Your feelings of missing your grandchild and worrying about her well-being are perfectly natural, given the close bond you share. It’s apparent that you care deeply about her and want her to feel loved and secure at all times.
It’s absolutely fine if you wish to reach out to her during her time with the other grandparents. Sending a simple message to express your love or to check up on her could be reassuring for both you and your grandchild. However, you might choose to limit the contact to once or twice during her stay to respect the other grandparents’ time with her and to give yourself a little break.
Remember, it’s okay to take some time for yourself. You provide a great deal of care for your grandchild, and it’s healthy and necessary to have time for your own rest and rejuvenation. You should not feel obligated to check in on your grandchild every day, especially if you know she is in a safe and loving environment.
As for your concern about the child feeling abandoned, consider the strength of your relationship with her. You spend a lot of quality time with her, and this bond won’t easily be forgotten. If she feels a bit disconnected during these three weeks, your loving presence when she returns will likely alleviate any worries quickly.
In summary, trust your instincts. If reaching out once or twice during her visit feels right to you, go ahead. But also remember to take this opportunity to rest and recharge, knowing your grandchild is safe and loved.