How to Survive Leaving Your Baby at Daycare for the First Time

Are you sending your child to daycare for the first time? Then this post is for you. We’re going to talk about ways to survive this emotional event.

When it comes to fatherhood, motherhood and while we’re on it parenthood I think dropping your baby off at daycare for the first time is one of the hardest milestones in a family.

When we went to drop our son off, I had a lot of emotions and thoughts. Some were reasonable and rational thoughts and feelings, but many were just irrational.

As a parent, you too are going to approach the thought of leaving your baby at daycare for the first time with a lot of mixed emotions.

  • Sadness?
  • Guilt?

If nobody else has told, you let us be the first to tell you it’s ok to feel excited about getting some relief from your child.

Even with the relief, there’s probably a lot of anxiety circulating within you.

  • “Did I pick the right daycare?”
  • “Did I make a mistake?”
  • “Is my child going to be ok?”

To get through this difficult time we’ve prepared some helpful tips.

1. Own Your Decision

There’s going to be a lot of people that are going to try to make you feel guilty about your decision.

You would be surprised at the people who are going to try to give you advice. Friends, family members, in-laws, good parents, bad parents, really bad parents.

All of those “well-meaning people are then going to give you advice that’s going to vary from ok to really dumb.

Even the ones that are giving sensible advice might not be good advice for your family or your circumstance.

Ultimately, you’ve made your decision as a family and what’s best for your family moving forward is daycare. Tell all the naysayers to shut it…

Maybe not like that, but seriously, you need to be comfortable in the decision your family is making.

2. Give Yourself Permission to Cry

This is going to be an emotional time, and there’s nothing wrong with shedding a few tears…or a lot of tears.

While we were dropping off our kid, I caught a glimpse of a mother balling her eyes out.

I saw a dad trying to act all stern while I caught a couple of tears trickling down his face.

Whether it’s before, during, or after you drop your baby off at daycare just let it all out.

3. Don’t Go to Work on Your Baby’s First Day of Daycare

If possible, start your child in daycare the day you don’t have to go to work. This is important for a couple of reasons:

  1. You could be an emotional mess. Remember when I said it’s ok to cry. It’s ok to cry it out and be an emotional mess. It might not be received as well at work when they’re expecting you to be productive.
  2. A day to yourself. If you’ve spent the past several weeks or months with your baby not leaving your side, it might be good to have a day to yourself. Catch up on a couple of tv shows or movies you’ve been wanting to see.
  3. Daycare test run. It gives you an opportunity to have a test run and see what it’ll be like taking him or her to daycare.

Having a day or two your not working to figure out a rhythm for how the drop-offs and pickups are going to be is helpful. It could help make things easier for when you actually start working.

A Daycare test run also allows you to see how well your child is going to handle being in daycare and how well he or she is being treated. Not working will let you make frequent drop-ins during the day if you want to.

4. When Preparing Baby for Daycare Pack the Day Before

Pick the baby’s outfit, prep the food and make sure the bag you’re going to drop off at the daycare is packed with extra outfits and everything else the night before.

If you try to do it all the day off you’re bound to forget something and be in a rush. It’s a big day for the family you don’t want any more pressure on you that morning.

5. Call a Friend Before the Big Day

Do you know another mom or dad who has gone through the same thing? Why not try talking to them?

Talking to other parents who are supportive (the keyword is supportive) can go a long way to reassuring you that everything is going to be alright.

6. Make Sure Your Child Sees You Leave

You might think if I drop him/her off while they’re asleep it’ll make things easier. Or trying to sneak away while they’re distracted.

This practice might come back to bite you because it could cause your child to think you’ll leave them at any time. You want to avoid this but at the same time…

7….Don’t Delay the Goodbyes

There’s a good chance your child will start crying as you try to leave. Just keep walking. I know it sounds harsh but delaying the inevitable will only cause more problems.

8. Establish a Relationship with Your Baby’s Care Provider

Connecting with the people charged with taking care of your precious child is important.

For starters, it could mean better care for your child as he or she could fill you in on information going on with your kid.

On the flip side, you could provide them with relevant information they might need to provide better care.

What I mentioned above are all important reasons for having a good relationship with your infant’s daycare provider. But I’m not really sure those are the most important when it comes to creating a relationship with your childcare provider.

There are two others I believe even more important:

  • The first is it’ll give you more of a peace of mind if you get to know your child’s caregiver.
  • The second is you should have a good relationship with the daycare workers watching over your child.

9. Be Engaged During Drop-off and Picking Up Your Child

When you’re picking up your child make sure you’re not on your phone but are attentive to what’s going on. You don’t want to miss anything important your child’s caregiver might have to tell you.

10. Be Engaged with Your Child Immediately After Pickup

Your child’s been away from you for an extended period. When you pick them up show them some attention. A big hug can start reinforcing to your child:

“My mommy and daddy are going to come back for me, and I get a big hug.”

11. Does Your Baby Have a Special Toy

Some children are comforted by a special toy or even a special blanket. If that’s your child, make sure they have it with them (assuming the daycare allows it).

12. Check Your Baby Before You Hand Them Off

If your child has any weird bruises, birthmarks or anything out of the ordinary you want to know that before you hand them off. Many daycares are required to report any signs of abuse or neglect.

So, if there’s anything that could be mistakenly taken as abuse or neglect you want to make sure to explain it to the daycare workers beforehand.

13. Check Your Baby After You Pick Them Off

This isn’t to say that anything will happen. But some daycares have gotten in trouble in the past for neglect or abuse.

The likelihood of it happening to your kid if you’ve done your due diligence is probably relatively small, but you should probably still look them over. At least until you get comfortable with the caregivers looking after them.

14. Phone a Friend After Dropping Your Baby at the Daycare

I mentioned earlier talking to other parents beforehand can be beneficial. Talking to them afterward can be just as helpful. If they’ve been through it, they may be able to reassure you everything is going to be ok.

(Once again make sure it’s parents who are SUPPORTIVE)

Conclusion

Hang in there mom and dad your baby’s going to daycare.

Take Deep Breaths and be reassured that many parents have been through this milestone before you (and have done just fine) and many will come after you.

Grab some coffee and tissue paper when you hit the road.

Are there any other tips parents should know about leaving their child in daycare for the first time?

Don’t forget to share the article so we can help more parents.

P.S. If you’re looking for more daycare articles checkout

15 thoughts on “How to Survive Leaving Your Baby at Daycare for the First Time”

    1. Parents Plus Kids

      The first couple weeks you send your kiddo to daycare for the first time is the hardest. It gets easier over time.

  1. The first few days of daycare can be rough, but it’s for the best, your child is getting a chance to interact and play with kids his/her age. Our son went running in and didn’t look back.

    1. Parents Plus Kids

      That’s awesome your kid transitioned to daycare well. Many kids do start daycare and fit right in without a problem.

    2. Christina Roberts

      I’m so glad I’m not alone in feeling emotional. It was my 1 1/2 y/o son’s first day of daycare today and even though I stayed the first hour and left him for only 2 hours before picking him up, it was really tough. I had anxiety and a headache and couldn’t breathe properly. When he saw me he cried and started saying “Momma” and I hugged him and I started to cry too. Ughhh.

  2. Well, I can admit that the first time I took my son to daycare, it was me who cried. He had so much fun, and there was actually nothing for me to worry about!
    I do think parents have a right though, to be concerned when they are dropping off their little treasures for someone else to take care of.
    Thanks for the well-written piece and the amazing infographic too.

  3. I sooo needed to read this, I’ve always been iffy about daycares even after I do my research so instead I just rough it out at home. Maybe i’ll finally have the courage to push through with it

    1. Parents Plus Kids

      We’re glad you found it helpful. It’s kinda scary but so far we’re having a positive experience from the daycare we’re using.

  4. Stefan Bradley

    Thanks for mentioning that your child should see you leave on their first day of daycare. My daughter will be going to daycare soon. I’ll be sure to keep this tip in mind when it is time for her to go.

  5. I like what you said about being engaged with your child after picking them up. I will have to start taking my youngest to daycare soon and I’m not sure I’m ready! I’ll have to find the right daycare services so that I feel okay about leaving her.

  6. This is some really good information about daycare. It is good to know that you should be engaged when picking up your child. That seems like it would make the experience better for your child.

  7. Thank you for your tip to be engaged with your child immediately after picking them up with actions such as giving a big hug. I have been thinking about sending my child to daycare so I can go back to work but I am really nervous about it. I will make sure to keep this tip in mind for the day I have to leave my baby behind.

  8. Sandra Patterson

    Thank you for the tip about showing your kid some much-needed attention after them being at daycare. I am starting a new job soon, which means that I will need to find a place to put my kids until they start school. I am sure this article will be able to help not only with tat but also with when they go to school too.

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