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I love having a son. I also love having a daughter.
It doesn’t matter if your child is a boy, a girl, gender fluid or non-binary, you will love them no matter what.
Still, you might feel disappointed having a daughter when what you really wanted was a son.
Benefits of Having a Daughter (Even if You Wanted a Son)
Despite any old wives’ tales that you’ve heard, you cannot predetermine the sex of your baby.
The baby will be whatever they are and no special diet or sexual position will change that. What’s more, about five percent of the people born in the U.S. identify as a gender that does not match their reproductive parts.
You have no control over any of that. All you can control is the way that you feel.
Ask yourself first, why is it that you want a son? What is special about having a son that a daughter cannot fulfill?
Are you disappointed for yourself or your partner? Answering those questions will make overcoming your disappointment easier to manage.
Likewise, there are certain beneficial things about daughters that you might not get to experience with a son.
1. Daughters Are Easier to Change
Changing a diaper is not fun. If there is a parent who finds joy in cleaning pee or poo, then I definitely do not want to know that parent. It is a necessary evil that has to be done multiple times every day.
What makes this dirty chore even worse? Getting peed on by a little boy. They have no control over their urine stream. It will shoot everywhere as soon as the diaper is removed.
You’ll eventually get the hang of immediately putting a washrag or a pee pee teepee over the boy when the diaper comes off, but this is a skill that takes a while to develop.
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A little girl might pee when her diaper comes off but it’s a puddle rather than a geyser.
2. Little Girls are Easier to Bathe
Did you think you heard the last of pee problems with little boys? Think again.
When you’re bathing your son, especially in those early days, you’re going to need a shield.
As soon as water hits the little boy’s private parts, pee is going to happen and, as with diapering, it is out of control.
A little girl will do the same thing but it will not cause you any harm. It’s still not pleasant, but at least you’re not washing the urine out of your hair after you give your daughter a bath.
3. Girls Might be Better Communicators
Some studies have shown that women are better at verbal communication than men. This can be apparent from the earliest days.
My son was about 15 months old before he started talking. Even now, at age 16, it is difficult to get him to talk about his thoughts and his feelings. Just now, I asked him to tell me something about his feelings.
“I’m hungry,” was his primary feeling. As I really pushed to get him to tell me something about his thoughts and emotions, he came up with, “I’m okay.”
Meanwhile, girls these studies have shown that girls develop communication skills that are more advanced and complex at an earlier age.
The question is, is that because of the way we interact with boys vs. girls, or is it because of their brains? Science tells us it’s a bit of both.
I like to think that I interact with my son and daughter in the same way, but when I asked my daughter what she was feeling, it took 30 minutes and a pie chart.
4. You Might Get to Help Plan a Wedding
I have been warned against pressuring my kids into getting married. I cannot dictate my children’s futures nor should I try to.
At the same time, I am very happily married and I cannot imagine my life without my husband. I want my children to have as happy a life as I do, so I’m hopeful they will find good partners.
It is not always the case, but your daughter is more likely to take over the wedding planning. Unless she decides to elope, she will need help.
Don’t overstep your boundaries, but plan to have a lot of fun as you pick out dresses, flowers, photographers and cakes.
5. You Will Be Able to Relate
Odds are pretty good that a mom will have more in common with her daughter than with her son. Y
ou will be able to give her tips on getting through daily life as a girl.
You will understand the struggles she faces and you’ll be able to prepare her for what the future could have in store.
Yes, you should have plenty in common with your son as well. However, you and your daughter will share a bond over issues that men will never fully understand.
6. There is Less Confusion
In the same way that you can relate well to a daughter, you won’t have to deal with some of the confusion that comes from raising a child of a different gender.
You may be aware of some of the challenges boys face, but you won’t have any personal, real-world experience.
Some of the confusion you avoid is purely physical. My son has had questions about his own body that I can’t answer without consulting Google.
Meanwhile, most of my daughter’s personal questions are easily handled because I’ve been there.
7. They Encourage Equality
It is easy to become blind to the struggles some people face when you don’t encounter them. Raising a daughter causes you to encounter all of the societal issues she sees.
You might have believed that sexual misconduct against women had been squashed by the me too movement but having a daughter will make you realize that sexual harassment is still a very real problem.
You will also pay more attention to salary inequality. Women continue to make 77 cents for every dollar made by men.
Meanwhile, women, on average, perform 2.5 times more work in any given job for the privilege of making less than her male counterparts. It will feel more real to you when you see your daughter’s future under that lens.
You may even begin volunteering for causes that promote equality so your daughter’s future looks brighter.
8. Your Husband Will Appreciate You More
Naturally, if you don’t have a husband, this won’t apply to you. For those of us who do, having a daughter truly makes them view their wives in a different light.
The love they feel for their daughters often translates to a deeper appreciation of how much their wives sacrifice and provide for their families.
My husband was already a very appreciative, respectful and kind man before we had children. I would have never thought there was room for him to be even more caring, but it happened.
He wants what is best for his daughter, and then he thinks of how likely it is that I was just like her at her age. He cherishes me in a new way, which is a win for all of us.
9. You Will Have Lots of Different Experiences
There are some activities that tend to not be interesting to boys.
Whether it is innate or due to societal pressures, boys often avoid activities that involve a great deal of grace and rhythm.
Though they can be very skilled and adept at dance, cheer and gymnastics, boys often gravitate elsewhere.
Meanwhile, girls are welcome and even encouraged to do it all. My daughter has tried all of the sports my son has and then some.
She does competitive dance and plays in the school band. She has also been quarterback on a flag football team, won several ribbons in cross country, outkicked most of the boys in soccer and warmed the bench in basketball.
As the mom of a daughter, you really get to see it all.
10. Girls are Very Affectionate
Boys can be very affectionate as well, but girls tend to be affectionate by default. If you have a daughter, prepare yourself for all of the hugs, all of the time.
Have a son is a wonderful thing but so is having a daughter. Your child will be the love of your life regardless of sex or gender.
How do you feel about having a daughter? Tell us in the comments!