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I do not have an adult daughter. On the other hand, I happen to be one.
I know there are things I need to hear from my living parent that help me through each day. This is as true now as it was when I was 18 years old.
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Nice Things to Say to Your Grown Daughter
Just because your child is grown doesn’t mean that she doesn’t need you anymore.
Quite contrarily, your adult daughter will still need you in different ways throughout her life.
She might need your advice, your support, or your time. A very important thing that she will need is for you to say the following 10 things.
1. I Love You
“I love you” is an important phrase that is too often left unsaid. You may show your love in many different ways, but there is something special about uttering the words.
Telling your daughter that you love her may be just what she needs to hear each time you say it.
There is scientific evidence that shows saying “I love you” can be beneficial to your health.
We often associate the release of oxytocin with physical love, but it is also released with familial and plutonic love. Both you and your daughter may be physically improved with each loving affirmation.
2. You Matter
Who doesn’t want to hear that they are important? Your daughter may be grown, but she still wants, craves, and needs a reminder that she matters to you.
Tell her that she is a force to be reckoned with, that she leaves an indelible mark on the world, and that her presence is vital.
Sometimes, it’s more important to your daughter to hear that she matters to you.
Knowing that she matters to her own children, her friends, or even the world as a whole might not be as meaningful to her when she wants to matter to her mother. Tell her how much she means to you.
Don’t hold back.
3. I Believe in You
Accomplishing goals is hard for everyone. It is even more difficult to accomplish these goals when you don’t feel that anyone believes in you.
Your daughter will experience the heartache and frustration that comes with the fear of failure. Telling her that you believe in her will give her the boost she needs to continue to try.
I recently wrote my first novel. It was a true labor of love and something that has taken me years to complete. I was afraid to tell anyone about it because of my own fear of failure.
Telling my mother was terrifying as she has not always been supportive of my endeavors. When she told me that she believed in me, I felt a surge of energy.
You can do the same for your daughter no matter how large or small her dreams may be.
4. I Trust You
Trust is a rare and beautiful thing. Giving someone your trust tells them that you think they are smart, capable and honest. Tell your daughter you trust her to make good decisions and she will be able to move mountains.
You might feel like interfering with your daughter’s decisions but be careful not to undermine trust.
She will undoubtedly make some mistakes, but you have to show that you trust she will learn from those mistakes, bounce back and be better for them.
5. You Make Me Happy
There is a song (the YouTube video below) that my husband and I sang to our children when they were babies.
We felt it perfectly exemplified how they made us feel. Now, as they are getting older, I still occasionally walk past them and say, “You make me happy when skies are grey.”
Your daughter is your greatest accomplishment. Tell her that she makes you feel happy. Share the joy you feel with her. She will glow from knowing that she continues to make you happy every day.
6. I Will Always Be Here for You
It should go without saying that you will always be there for your child. Unfortunately, not all children feel that they can rely on their mother during the difficult times.
Tell your daughter that you will always have her back. Be the rock she needs during the bad times and the good.
This is a statement that needs real-world follow through. There will be times that your daughter really will need you.
Be there for her.
That doesn’t mean that you have to pay off her loan shark debts or provide a rock solid alibi when her neighbor’s house is mysteriously egged.
It does mean that you will be there to provide solid advice, to listen to her woes and help her figure out those difficult life problems we all have.
7. You Are Amazing
Tell your daughter that she is amazing. Tell her that she continually stuns you with her strength, courage or creativity.
Be specific about the gifts that she has. What is it about her that is so great?
Does she provide a wonderful support system to her friends? Is she a thoughtful sibling? Does she have a bright spirit? Is she incredibly intelligent? Tell her what amazes you and how.
You might be afraid that too much praise will cause an inflated ego or lead to long-term problems. The best way to prevent that is not to avoid praise but to ensure the praise you give to your daughter is accurate.
False is dishonest and it won’t help her in the short- or long-term.
8. Your Opinion Matters to Me
I went for a walk with a friend this morning. She needed to talk because she is frustrated with her mother.
My friend’s mother lives alone in a 5,000-square-foot house in a city that is far away from family and friends. My friend wants her mother to move closer to her or to one of her siblings.
She wants her to find a house that is more fitting to the size she can reasonably manage. Her mother told her that her opinion is neither helpful nor welcome.
My friend feels unloved, belittled, and disrespected by her mother. All her mother would have to tell her is that her opinion matters and she will take it into consideration.
You should do the same for your own daughter. Even if you disagree, tell her that her opinion carries weight when you make your decisions.
9. I Am Thinking About You
Have you ever felt invisible? Have you ever wondered if everyone has forgotten about you? Of course you have. It happens to us all.
Remind your daughter that you are thinking about her just so she knows there is someone out there who will never forget how important and wonderful she is.
You can tell your daughter that you are thinking about her in different ways. Tell her you heard a song that made you think of her.
Share a picture that brings forth a special memory. Remember the details of her daily life that she shares with you and ask about them later.
10. I Am Proud of You
Tell your daughter that you are proud of her. Of course, you are. She needs to hear it.
Still, you must be careful with this one. I told my 12-year-old daughter that I was proud of her and she asked me to be more specific. She wanted to hear exactly what I was proud of and that got dicey pretty fast.
I told her that I was proud that she is always so polite to her family, a good friend, a good student, and a kind person.
She immediately pouted, tears formed in her eyes and she said, “You didn’t mention my art. You don’t think I’m a good artist!” The drama was real.
Your adult daughter might not have the hormones of a pre-teen, but you should be careful to tell her that you couldn’t possibly list all of the things you’re proud of.
Name a few and tell her you love her one more time.
Your adult daughter needs you. She needs to know you support her and you care.
Don’t be afraid to tell her as often as you can. Are there other things you think a mom should say to her adult daughter? Share them in the comments!