How to Survive Leaving Your Child with a Nanny for the First Time: 5 Easy Steps

a child being watched by nanny for the first time

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Your child is your everything.

Leaving them with a nanny for the first time is painful. It can cause feelings of guilt and even depression.

Don’t worry!

Every parent goes through some form of separation anxiety when leaving a child with a nanny for the first time.

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How to Survive Leaving Your Child With a Nanny for the First Time

As with all difficult things in life, you just have to take it day-by-day. The first day will be hard, but you need to tell yourself that it will get easier. Give your child a hug and a kiss and say goodbye. Once you get through that first day, every subsequent day will be much easier.

Materials Needed

You don’t necessarily need any specific items for leaving your child with a nanny. However, there are a few supplies that might help the transition for all of you.

1. Nanny Cam

Amcrest Nanny Cam
  • 1080P PAN, TILT, ZOOM WIFI CAMERA – Live streaming 1080p @30fps video. Remotely pan, tilt and zoom…
  • BABY MONITOR SOUND ALARM MODE, SHARING & ALEXA – Turn your Amcrest Smart Home camera into an…
  • AI CHIPSET & HUMAN DETECTION – This is our most technologically advanced, smallest form factor and…

Will the nanny be staying at your home? If so, get a nanny cam.

A nanny cam allows you to check in on your child throughout the day. The app lets you pull up the camera on your phone wherever you happen to be.

It’s a good idea to put one of these nanny cams in the living room, kitchen, and nursery.

2. Hidden Nanny cam

No one wants to admit that they’re suspicious of wrongdoing, especially when the nanny hasn’t had a chance to prove themselves yet.

Still, it might ease your mind to know you have surveillance if needed.

A hidden nanny cam might be something you never even use, but the peace of mind it offers can be priceless.

3. Soft Blanket

Decorative Throw Blankets
  • SUPER SOFT & DURABLE CONSTRUCTION: This throw blanket is made using 100% premium microfiber…
  • SUITABLE FOR ALL SEASONS: This cozy throw blanket also lightweight and warm enough for use in spring…
  • CLASSY & COZY: COCOPLAY W super soft throw blanket offers the right balance of comfort and style to…

Depending on your child’s age, you might want to leave them with a special blanket for use while you’re away.

My daughter had a case of separation anxiety, and the blanket was our solution. In our case, it was a blanket I already owned and used for warmth when we were cuddling together and watching television.

My daughter said using this blanket during the day made her feel like I was hugging her.

If you don’t already have a blanket you can use, purchase one, share it together, and then let your child use it while you’re gone.

4. A Lovey

Baby Lovey
  • Soft & Comfortable: When baby start to experience separation anxiety, baby security blanket is a…
  • Provide Security: The baby lovey relieves baby’s anxiety when parents are not with them, helping…
  • Unique Design: The Baby’s puppy lovey is design as a comforting pal for little ones. It’s portable…

A lovey is a plush doll that feels like a blanket. It’s the ideal choice for young children who need comfort.

The lovey becomes special to them because it makes them feel safe and secure.

A special lovey for use with the nanny gives them something to look forward to and appreciate.

A Goodbye Book

5. A Goodbye Book

See You Later, Alligator
  • Hardcover Book
  • Hopgood, Sally (Author)
  • English (Publication Language)

Reading a book about goodbyes is a way to give both you and your child a moment to digest the fact that you’ll be separated for a short while.

This gives you the added bonus of reading to your child, which is always a good thing.

Step One: Preparing Your Child for the Nanny

How old is your child? Those who are under 12 months may not need a lot of prep time for spending the day with a nanny.

Older children might have a more difficult adjustment, especially if they have never been left with a babysitter or in a daycare situation before.

Explain to your child that you’ll be away for the day but will be home in only a few hours. In the meantime, they get to play with a new person whose entire job is to make sure they’re happy and healthy.

Reassure your child you’ll return and that you’ll check on them throughout the day. You can even show them the video from the nanny cam, so they know you will always be there in a way.

Pro Tip
Don’t make promises you can’t keep. If you will not be able to call to check in on them, then skip that part.

Tell them when you’ll be back and try to keep that promise.

Keeping your word is especially important for the older child who will remember your promise and will be very upset if it’s broken.

Step Two: Introduce Your Child to the Nanny

You should have already introduced your child to the nanny before the first day, but it’s smart to make the introductions again before you leave.

Ask the nanny to arrive early so you can all spend time together. It’s important your child feels comfortable. It’s also important you see your child happy with their new nanny.

Step Three: Go Over the Details

If you’re anything like me, you worry that you’ll forget something important. It’s okay to go over the details too many times.

Leave behind your work numbers, contact names and numbers, emergency details, feeding times, and napping schedules.

Show your nanny where you keep first aid equipment and your fire extinguisher. Ensure they know how to use the car seat and all child-safety devices.

If you’re taking your child to your nanny instead of the other way around, it’s perfectly okay for you to ask the nanny to show you how they have child-proofed their home for you.

This is also a good time to explain about nanny cams or ask them to include one, so you can check in during the day.

Nanny Checksheet

Before leaving get this checksheet that walks you through all the important information you need to leave with the nanny.

Step Four: Say Your Goodbyes

Goodbyes need to be quick. Drawing out a goodbye only prolongs the inevitable and makes everyone just a bit more on edge.

Give your child a hug and a kiss, say you will see them very soon, encourage them to have fun, and then say goodbye.

Don’t linger and don’t return.

If you come back for just one more goodbye, your child will probably continue expecting you to keep coming back. If you stay long enough to hear them cry, you will feel more guilt during the day.

While it’s true your child might cry after you leave, most children do not experience severe separation anxiety and will eventually be soothed enough to have a fun time with their nanny.

If you’ve read my other article on leaving your child with a babysitter for the first time, you’ll know this is a repeat and very important tip.

You should not try to sneak out of your house without your child seeing you leave.

As hard as it might be for you, make sure your child sees you leave and doesn’t wake up to you gone, and a stranger is there.

Step Five: Allow Yourself Some Time

It might not be just your child who cries when you leave. You may need to take some time to collect yourself.

Let yourself cry. Let yourself be sad. You can even let yourself feel some guilt.

At the same time, remind yourself that you’re doing what is best for you, your child, and your family.

No matter how bad it feels those first few days, you’re making the best choice. Be proud that you have the strength to do the hard thing when it is the right thing.

Key Takeaways

Leaving your child with a nanny is a tough decision. Getting through that first day might feel impossible, but prepare yourself for it and you will make it.

Do you have any other tips for leaving a child with a nanny? Tell us in the comments!

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Frequently Asked Questions

A baby will adjust very quickly to a nanny. Within a couple of hours, most kids will adapt.

If the nanny plays a significant role in the child’s life, it’s not uncommon for a healthy developing child to form a bond with a nanny.

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