This post may contain affiliate links. If you buy through the link, I may earn a commission. Learn More.
Every mom wants to be a good mom.
Does that mean you join local playgroups, make sure your child wears the latest toddler fashion, and only buy organic produce that you mash and jar yourself?
Not necessarily. The traits of a good mom are much deeper than that.
*FYI, some of the links in this article about the qualities of a good mother may be affiliate links. If you click and make a purchase, we may get a commission (at no extra cost to you). For more info, please see our disclaimer.
10 Qualities of a Good Mom
What makes a mom good? Ask different people and you will get different answers.
When I turned 13, my mom let me have a sleepover. My friends and I watched R-rated horror films with enough blood, violence, and nudity to make the MPAA scream.
My friends thought my mom was great. Their parents? As a parent myself now, I would not be okay with that at all.
However, at the time, having the cool mom was, well, pretty cool. That said, there are certain traits that nearly everyone can agree make up a good mom.
1. She is Honest
I don’t know if I’m a good mom. I think that’s one of those things you can only know for sure once your children are grown and have children of their own.
I do know that I try my hardest to be a good mom, which means I try to display the qualities that are most important.
For me, honesty is number one. I swore to myself, my husband, and my children that I would never lie to them. I never have.
Now that they are older, when my kids ask me questions, they never question the validity of the answer no matter how difficult the question may be.
2. She Serves as a Good Role Model
What makes someone a good role model is subjective. However, most people can agree that a good role model is someone with positive character traits who strives toward their goals.
For some, a good role model might be someone who is very successful in their career. For someone else, a good role model is someone who gives back to the community.
Think of the type of person you want your child to be and try to set that example.
For me, I hope my children pursue their dreams while also caring for the greater good.
I let them see me volunteering often and I also include them while I’ve pursued my own dreams of being a working author.
3. She is Patient
This is something I struggle with every day. Patience is not my best trait.
I wouldn’t even put it in my top 10 – maybe not my top 50.
I lose patience when shopping for clothes, when I’m explaining for the 18th time that clothing belongs in the laundry basket rather than next to it, when my 12-year-old talks to me about Tik Tok, and when my 16-year-old argues with me about everything.
A good mom will strive toward having the patience for all of these things and much more.
This comes naturally for some, while others, like me, have to work for it.
4. She is a Problem Solver
“Mom, where is my…?” My family calls me “the finder” because somehow I am the only person in the family who can find things even when they are inches in front of my kids’ faces.
I am also the fixer. I have been known to fix eyeglasses, the clothes dryer, door handles, ceiling tiles, the garage door, multiple cell phones, and busted dining room chairs.
Beyond that, a mom needs to fix interpersonal squabbles. When the kids fight with each other, mom is the problem solver.
When one of them has a nightmare? It’s mom to the rescue.
As soon as you become a mom, you are the go-to for all of the problems, both physical and emotional.
5. She Communicates Well
Communication is the cornerstone of every relationship. This includes the relationship between a mother and her child.
You cannot expect to have a solid connection if you are not good at communicating.
Talk with your children daily. More importantly, listen.
When your kids ask you questions, answer them. Never, ever answer a question with the words “because” or “because I said so.”
Using those phrases shuts down communication and shows your children that you are only interested in talking at them, not with them.
6. She is Optimistic
This is another area where I often fail. By nature, I am a realist. I don’t put positive spins on anything in favor of taking a less idealistic mental approach.
That said, the power of positive thinking is important. That’s especially true for kids.
There are so many insecurities that accompany growing up that a positive voice is a very important one.
If you struggle with optimism, a good option for you might be meditation.
This is an activity you can do on your own or with your kids to help increase their positivity as well.
7. She Advocates for Her Children
As a mom, you must always have your child’s back, no matter what. You need to advocate for them when it comes to school, activities, healthcare, and their day-to-day needs.
No one else will do it for them except you. When you stand up for your child, you are also teaching them their own worth.
This doesn’t mean that you blindly yell at anyone who looks at your child with less than adoration. It does mean that you make sure your child is treated fairly at all times.
When my son developed a tumor on his face, the doctor told us there was nothing to worry about, and it was just a normal bump.
As his mother, I knew better. I went for a second opinion and then a third. We learned it was possibly pre-cancerous and would need to be removed immediately.
Had I not advocated, we might have had a much less positive outcome.
8. She is Disciplined
Whether you’re talking about self-discipline or disciplining others, discipline is hard. You have to make rules and stick to them, which takes work.
However, a good mom needs to be skilled at this. Your children will not learn the important rules of self-discipline if you don’t teach them. Too many people think “discipline” means physical punishment.
That is not at all true. Discipline is the act of following established rules, whatever they may be.
For instance, if you have a rule that children are not allowed more than two hours of screen time per day, don’t let them have five.
Case in point: I have a dear friend who simply can’t understand why her children don’t take her seriously when she threatens to take their iPads away for bad behavior.
I asked her how many times she’s actually taken the iPads away, and she admitted that she never has, though she threatens to daily, and the “threat should be enough.” It’s not.
9. She is Humble
Humility is another character trait that is often misunderstood. Being humble does not mean that you can’t admit that you’re clearly an amazing mom.
Humility means that you know you’re not perfect. Accept that you have character flaws and work to change them.
Know that you’re not the most patient mother or that you have difficulty with discipline.
Likewise, let your children know that you know you aren’t perfect. If you make a mistake, apologize.
Telling them that you were wrong and apologizing to them doesn’t make you weak, it shows that you are strong enough to admit to your flaws.
10. She Provides Unconditional Love
You love your children no matter what. They need to know that. Some kids fear that they will no longer be loved if they make a mistake or don’t behave in the exact way their parents want.
Don’t do that to your children. Show them you love them every day.
One of the most important things I do for my children is to tell them, while we’re in the midst of an argument, that I love them. I will say, “I’m mad at you right now, but no matter how mad I get, I will never stop loving you.”
Then I’ll hug them and go back to yelling. It’s probably pretty confusing for them.
Being a good mom takes a lot of work.
You have to strive to be the type of person your children need in order to grow into happy, healthy, stable adults.
Do you have some tips on how to be a good mom? Share them in the comments!